10 hours ago
Monday, January 18, 2010
How many times does the thought come into my mind saying 'Don't', 'Careful', 'Don't take any chances' and still why don't I ever learn? Why is that I always surpress or ignore my inner voice? Why is that I don;y obey my own instincts? Why don't I believe in myself? Why Why Why !! I wish asking this why so many times could get me one simple answer. But it jus doesn't. May be they are at their own free will not to answer me.
Ok so now why am I again feeling betrayed and at loss? (As if this doesn't happen to me everyday) but still why this occassion and I am mentioning it here is because I again became a fool because I just didn't trust my inner self. I just shut them off saying "one more time please, just one more time let me take this chance of trusting this XYZ person." My faithful voice did tell me very clearly not to do so. They knew I would be back here with my woes. :(
Looks like this XYZ finds some pleasure in seeing me sad. I think XYZ finds some pleasure in doing so. But what kills me is that why is this XYZ having so much power to make me feel this way? Why can I not be happy no matter what others do? May be because I care so much for them, because I think no matter how much they hurt me they still are someone in my life. Whenever there comes some occassion in my life where I need to choose between keeping the person or throwing them away, I always choose to keep them. Sometime during my growing up some wise person told me once that "it takes less than a minute to cut off somebody from your life but it takes so much more time, effort and luck to find someone new to take that place." I choose to keep people in my life rather than throwing them away. I give them many chances, to be precise infinite chances. Finally all that comes out is few of these 'to be thrown people' never ever learn. They just take it as if its their birth right to have their own bloody way. I wish I could put some sense into them. I wish they really do change because I hate to loose them but may be I must first decide the breaking point for myself. Some people learn the harder way. There is also another side of me which says that if I finally throw someone out, there is no way back in. I just ditch the person never to look back again. Looking back at my life I find very very few people who have really fallen into that category(not even making it to 2 digit figure).
I know this post is one stupid one. But I had to vent it out. I hate people who are the reason for anyone to be sad or upset. Everyone needs to learn to 'live and let live'. I wish, I really wish that people in everyone's life learn this and the world is finally a happy place to live in.
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1 comments:
Okay this one is hard. People do grow apart many times. I think personally that you part as friends just don't stay in touch the way you once did. I think also that you are a lot like me in that you give 110% in a friendship and expect nothing less in return, and so many times the other person doesn't see it like that. Also people have their own lives and problems to live and cannot always take the time for friendships as much as they'd like...it doesn't necessarily mean they care less or don't like you, it just means other things get in the way that they have to deal with. And still others are just too much of a coward to deal with the real issues - they like living in a fantasy land and they don't like truth and honesty when it hits them smack in the face. There is ALWAYS a way back in through that door - leave those options open, unless the person has really really broken some sacred bonds.
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