1 week ago
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Last night, chatting with a friend, I was just wondering why is that I didn't really experiment with the various options life proposed to me? Why is that I never took up the challenge and see if the results would be good. This thought was disturbing me throughout and then I just had to push it away with a simple answer - 'I wanted to feel the belonging'. Now, is this a honest answer? I really don't think so!. Do we actually belong anywhere?, to anyone? I think its a complete illusion that belonging to someone, some place brings us some sort of happiness.
I am trying to construct a perfect home, decorate it, paint it, make it a home rather than a house, have a comfortable job, a cozy living, settle and retire at an appropriate age to enjoy the life as it comes, yeah forgot to mention, marry the perfect person coming across in the entire journey. But having all this, have I attained a sense of belonging? I think we always long for something more than we actually have in hand. And that's why the rat race keeps going on and like it or not, we run along, in an attempt to win, if not win at least not to lose or to be left behind.
There are times when suddenly you feel so different.. different things happening around you, expected and unexpected and yet we just get to learn how to be happy about all that. And when the things that comes your way are those we have been waiting for, which makes us smile, that's when we call it 'happiness'. One such phase of my life is what I am going through. I am on a pursuit, a pursuit to find happiness, a pursuit to find the belonging I am longing for. I don't know how far in the journey I am, but at least I am on my way to the destination. Along this journey, I am still discovering the real me, discovering myself.
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