1 week ago
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Writing down some facts which people, friends and not friends keep telling me...its easier to say.....
People say it is easy. NO its not. What is so easy?
People say that I don't have to be worried about things. BUT yes, I am worried about all of it. Any way out?
People say that there will be time, time for everything. YES, Maybe... when I really don't want the time.
People say it is normal. AFTER what I've gone through is it so NORMAL?
People say that it is all about EXPERIENCE. Oh yeah lots of it just that its all AFTER the bad ones...? Good ones become what?? Story or learnings or earnings or yearnings....
People say that SOMETHING are better left alone. BUT if you know MOST of it doesn't it hurt. Nothing can ever be left alone, no matter how much you try, its always there like a big question waiting for the BIGGER answers.
People say to take it EASY. Again EASY.. NO, love is serious. LOVE is everything to me. SO tell me which part is easy? Love to me or Love in itself. Both seems to be so much mixed up.
AT the end of the day, I am the one here, here to face it and living with all of it it. DO other people THINK of how I FEEL? Can they actually feel all of it.. OK..to be fair at least a part of all of it??
I don't want it to be easy, I can take it tough, difficult and even rough. I am a big girl and big girls are not supposed to cry or break down but because it all sometimes indirectly is so hard and painful that I break down and get lost.
I don't want be worried about anything. I want to be at peace, peace with myself and with the surroundings, things, people and anything worth mentioning, so someone tell me or show me the way.
I don't want little time with 'You' - I want 'YOU' all to myself. Am I selfish? I don't mind being branded like that if its for 'You'. I will consider it as an 'honour'.
I don't want it to be normal, because I know I am NOT. But so are all others. Show me one Normal person!
I don't want to learn from experience, had enough of it and now all of that has become dark spots in my memory book. I wish I could erase them off. Start fresh page.
The truth is I don't want to know MOST of everything. I just want to know a little, a little of truth and a little of fact and a little of everything which just makes me feel light and takes me through each day without all the worry and pain and hurt and much more. Right now all the everything that I know, All of what I can tell myself they are all 'not truths' yet they are not lies. There lies the difference. Two wrongs becoming right. Weird and absurd but true in itself.
I don't want to take anything easy anymore because when I take it easy I feel I don't care anymore.
People say that I don't have to be worried about things. BUT yes, I am worried about all of it. Any way out?
People say that there will be time, time for everything. YES, Maybe... when I really don't want the time.
People say it is normal. AFTER what I've gone through is it so NORMAL?
People say that it is all about EXPERIENCE. Oh yeah lots of it just that its all AFTER the bad ones...? Good ones become what?? Story or learnings or earnings or yearnings....
People say that SOMETHING are better left alone. BUT if you know MOST of it doesn't it hurt. Nothing can ever be left alone, no matter how much you try, its always there like a big question waiting for the BIGGER answers.
People say to take it EASY. Again EASY.. NO, love is serious. LOVE is everything to me. SO tell me which part is easy? Love to me or Love in itself. Both seems to be so much mixed up.
AT the end of the day, I am the one here, here to face it and living with all of it it. DO other people THINK of how I FEEL? Can they actually feel all of it.. OK..to be fair at least a part of all of it??
I don't want it to be easy, I can take it tough, difficult and even rough. I am a big girl and big girls are not supposed to cry or break down but because it all sometimes indirectly is so hard and painful that I break down and get lost.
I don't want be worried about anything. I want to be at peace, peace with myself and with the surroundings, things, people and anything worth mentioning, so someone tell me or show me the way.
I don't want little time with 'You' - I want 'YOU' all to myself. Am I selfish? I don't mind being branded like that if its for 'You'. I will consider it as an 'honour'.
I don't want it to be normal, because I know I am NOT. But so are all others. Show me one Normal person!
I don't want to learn from experience, had enough of it and now all of that has become dark spots in my memory book. I wish I could erase them off. Start fresh page.
The truth is I don't want to know MOST of everything. I just want to know a little, a little of truth and a little of fact and a little of everything which just makes me feel light and takes me through each day without all the worry and pain and hurt and much more. Right now all the everything that I know, All of what I can tell myself they are all 'not truths' yet they are not lies. There lies the difference. Two wrongs becoming right. Weird and absurd but true in itself.
I don't want to take anything easy anymore because when I take it easy I feel I don't care anymore.
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1 comments:
Hi! Wow I think we have a lot in common.
Take care, just wanted to let you know I appreciate you stopping by and all, and that I am reading your blog. Thinking of you!
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